My Saturday, Or How I Learned to Stop Fretting and Get Naked
Posted on July 7, 2006
This past Saturday our band played out at a nudist resort in Kissimmee, a place that we’ve played many times in the last several years, usually to an enthusiastic crowd that really appreciates and interacts with us. Sometimes, there are even certain regulars in attendance who’ve made a point of coming up and talking between sets, being incredibly friendly and welcoming. Well, this past Saturday night was no exception.
Things started out a little slow, though, with only a handful of people eating dinner and sitting through our first set. They were a great crowd, but we started wondering if the regulars had all gone out of town or what. Then, as the second set started, people started pouring into the restaurant. Regulars, people we hadn’t seen before, all started filling up the tables and the dance floor. Things were definitely looking up.
Sometime around then, our lead singer Charles announced that “tonight was a great night to be nude” and that sometime later, the sax player (me) would be getting naked. Now, he’s tried this before, several times in fact, and only once was he even marginally successful. That time, there was this one woman there who shall remain nameless, and she somehow persisted enough to get me down to only my underwear (well, and a leather jacket). On Saturday, she and her persistence returned.
It was the end of the third set when things started to deteriorate. Though she had arrived in the second set, I had managed to avoid her direct looks and taunts somehow. Then, out of nowhere, she found me and demanded that I remove on article of clothing per song in the fourth set. This would have been as successful as the previous time if she allowed socks and shoes to count as inidividual items and not pairs, given that we had a set of about 8 songs. Unfortunately, she was not so generous.
I did manage to put things off by sitting out songs (if I didn’t sing or play, I didn’t take anything off), and things then lined up such that I was down to my t-shirt and underwear with only 3 songs left. Given this situation, I was really hoping that one of those would go long and leave us no time for the, er, finale. Of course, Charles knew otherwise.
I also tried valiantly to shield myself by hanging my jeans over the stand, but my taunter would have none of it. She stole my jeans and only promised them back once I had gone the full Monty. So then, with only one song remaining, the moment came when I had to make a decision. I could either take off my underwear and play a song naked, or let down the now throng of taunters that waited below. The decision was tough, but the alcohol helped.
Let me back up a bit. I don’t want you all thinking I’m a lush or one of these musicians who’s absolutely pissed when they’re up on stage. Still, being that I am an introvert, I do find that a few drinks throughout a show really does help grease the wheels, so to speak. My improv skills and overall confidence definitely improve once I’ve achieved a slight buzz. Liquid courage, indeed.
So yeah, I announced to the crowd that “I just want you all to know that I am truly Charles’ whore”, removed my tighty whiteys, flung them up on to Charles’ keyboard (upon whence he winced), and we played our last song of the night. The crowd went wild both before and after the song, and I promptly got dressed. From what I heard after, not much was seen from the dancefloor with all the equipment between us. Only Charles’ wife Brandy even commented after I turned to go backstage – “nice ass, Bryan!”
Oh, and that guy sitting with a sax on his lap? That’s none other than Adolphe Sax, the inventor of the device which both helped get me naked and yet protected said nakedness. I wonder if he ever suspected such a unique usage for his creation.
Categories: Public
Damn! I missed a great night!
03.07.2006 22:08
Gee… the night I come to hear you you keep your clothes on… Well – I am sure the crowd more than got their money worth!
03.07.2006 23:56
nudity is a special thing. your story was very entertaining and i’m proud you found courage. it’s less of an exposure thing and more of a this actually feels better and more beautiful thing. that is, that was my experience whilst in germany and doing the nudist thing. but i’m not introverted and i cannot ask you to get naked when you don’t wish to. like k. gibran says http://www.poetry-enlightened.org/article.php?id_article=240
you’re a beautiful, lovely human.
04.07.2006 13:28
Way to go, Stud! I hope someone took some pictures so you can post them.
05.07.2006 14:35
[...] 3) I once played the sax naked on stage in front of a restaurant full of people. As told here,this also actually happened. Our band hasn’t played the nudist resort much lately, but who knows, it could happen again. [...]
15.03.2007 00:42